Sunday, February 13, 2011

Facts about Loving and Hurting

First of all...HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to the person reading my blog.

What you will read here are important facts in order to know whether you are being loved or not at all. I can say some of them are based from personal experiences. You better check if the ones I will write here are Yes or No in your present lovelife.

He loves you if...
1. he gives you courtesy(in short...hindi ka niya pinag-aalala. It does not mean lahat na lang itetext niya o itatawag syo..at least yung mga bagay na importanteng malaman mo para at peace ka)
2. he does not count the number of days or hours or minutes that he devotes with you(kase nga mahal ka niya...mararamdaman mo na kung pwede lang na makasama ka niya lagi...gagawin niya. hindi yung bibigyan ka niya ng schedule)
3. he is very much present during important occasions(ateh..andun siya hanggang matapos ang occasion..hindi yung nagmamadali umalis pag Christmas o New Year..o nawawala pag Valentine's day...hahaha mag-isip ka pag ganon..may pupuntahan pa yung iba)
4. he allows you to see his cellphone(ateh...pag dikit sa katawan niya ang cellphone niya at medyo patagu-tago pag may nagtetext hehehe think again. sure na may gf pa siya other than you o may kabolahan siyang iba)
5. he speaks about himself and you in some futuristic scenarios (watch out ka ateh. pag wala ka naririnig sa kanya na something like..one of these days...magkasama kayo sa future life nyo o di kaya may plano siya para sa inyo 5,10 or 20 years from now...heheheh again ..pag wala..alam mo na yun. di ka gaano mahalaga sa kanya)
6. he exerts efforts to be with you and know you more and make the relationship strong(pag wala man lang kayong oras talaga bilang lovers na kayo lang..walang pag-uusap ng malalim paminsan minsan..well alam mo na yon...mababaw lang ang pagtingin niya sa yo)
7.he wants your presence in his house or relative's house during occasions(hindi ka man lang ba isinasama sa kanila ateh? if tat is the case...syempre hindi ikaw ang legal na gf niyan...you have to wonder na)

Naka-relate ka ba dear reader? What do you think? Are all manifestations of being loved present in your relationship? If yes...good for you. If you are experiencing the examples I have said after each sign, you have to think and ask yourself if the relationship is still worth keeping. If you are a logical person, talk is okay, if it does not work..time to say goodbye must be next. But if you are the martyr and romantic type...maybe you will wait until he change his ways and be forever loving you. No one can tell. Goodluck.:)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Merry Christmas

Christmas is one of my favorite celebrations. Aside from the cool breeze of air in the evening until dawn, the people's hearts are open for kindness and forgiveness.

This Christmas 2010, I thank God for giving me 2 kids who are the source of my strength when I am lonely or when I have problems. I thank God for the work that I have now. I am able to support my kids more than enough. I thank God for my family and friends who make my life brighter. And most of all, I thank God for ArBau who is my joy and inspiration. I thank God( though sometimes they will be lighter) for the sad moments and sufferings in my life this 2010. They made me a better person....open-minded, understanding, tough, forgiving...hopeful.

I hope to have some extra fortune so I can visit Liza and her family and give them something for noche buena. Joel, her husband, does not have job now. Liza is my friend and I don't have to look for a place to do an outreach...all I need is to go to her house.

Merry Christmas to all who will be able to read my blog here. May you find contentment and happiness in your heart. May you do good deeds to others because Jesus, the star of Christmas, is in your heart.

Monday, November 15, 2010

About Freedom

Moving out from someone's umbrella of ownership can be considered as freedom already. I felt like a caged bird who flew away, scarred, a bit not ready to conquer the sky, but determined to overcome all obstacles...in God's help. I need to work harder, save when there is a chance...have to be a good captain of my ship or else I will sink alive. The happy memories in Del Pilar will be forever cherished, the struggles and dreams in Summerfield will be kept in my heart as a lesson.
I still feel the pain everytime I think of this, tears fell for so many times....it is time to move on. In life there are things that I have to accept...no matter how difficult or painful these realities are.

Some people abused my kindness. Just like what I've promised to myself...show some FIRE from now on...but do not forget...it's still very good to be nice, respectful, and loyal.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Face the WALL

Every Tuesday I am oblige to attend a session about administrative training/concepts/projects. I can still remember that I was so sleepy last Tuesday during the session. Yes, I can clearly hear what the speaker was saying but not all were getting into my system that much...until I heard the thing about THE WALL. It caught my attention and I believed I forgot that I was a sleepy head during that time.

The Brother speaker said in our lives we are passing 6 stages. When we are young, there is dependence to others because of course we need to be fed, we need shelter and clothing. In the second stage,I believe it's about gradually moving out from dependency because people have graduated already and have works now. In the third stage, this is the time wherein people are more on achievements, building or reaping the fruits of their own efforts. This is more on prestige, power, materialism.

The WALL comes in stage 4.

He said this is the stage of our lives wherein we are faced with problems, sickness, feeling of being incomplete, feeling of being tired with life because of so many reasons. People do not like to face the wall. Why? This is because you will see here what you did to your life, the story of your liffe will be shown like in a movie. You will see the good, bad, and the worse part of you. It is like a mirror of your past that will haunt you. And if you want to face this wall, you have to face yourself. You have to accept who you are and all the wrongs that you did to yourself. It is actually ACCEPTANCE. Bad or good...you have to accept them all. It is really hard to cross and face this WALL in our lives because it takes courage, humility and maturity to do it.

For once, I asked myself if I unknowingly faced the WALL already. After a week of thinking (yes, I thought of this for so many times before I sleep at night huh), I can say I HAVE FACED THE WALL bravely...and I am proud of it.

In my 34 years of existence, I have experienced happiness and sorrows, I've made mistakes, I suffered, left out in the dark...but I managed to get out from hell(of emotions) and smile again. How did I do it? I faced the wall...I have admitted my mistakes...I have promised that I will love myself and not let others abuse my kindness...I have accepted the directions that God wants me to be(no questions asked)...I have promised Him that I will be more prayerful.

That's my experience...and for me...because of that..I have faced the wall.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Ilaw Ng Aming Tahanan

Malapit na ang kaarawan ng aking ina. Taun-taon ay lagi kong naiisip ang pamamatnubay, pagmamahal at pagsasakripisyo niya para sa aming lahat.

Masasabi kong napakasipag ng aking ina. Pagmulat ng kanyang mata mula umaga hanggang gabi ay inaasikaso niya ang aking mga kapatid, ang aking ama, pati na ang kanyang mga apo. Kung tutuusin ay hindi na niya dapat ginagawa ang sobrang trabaho na nakikita kong ginagawa niya pag umuuwi ako sa Tuy. Sa isang tulad niyang sisenta y singko na,dapat ay nagpapaalwan na siya sa buhay. Pero hindi, ginagampananpa rin niya ang pagiging ulirang ilaw ng tahanan, walang pagod sa pagpaparamdam ng kanyang pagdamay at pagmamahal. Kaya naman pag umuuwi ako sa Tuy, pinipilit kong akuin ang mga ginagawa niya. Maaga akong gumigising para maglinis ng bakuran, magluto, maglinis ng bahay, maghugas ng pinggan. Duon man langmagawa ko siyang pagpahingahin kahit isa o dalawang araw lang.

Kilala niya ng lubusan kaming mga anak niya. Isang halimbawa ay pag kinukumusta niya ako kapag ako ay umuuwi. Maawa raw ako sa sarili ko kung hanggang alas onse ng hatinggabi ay gising pa ako. Inuusisa niya sa akin ang personal kong buhay, kung ano na ang nangyayari sa akin, na lagi akong mag-iingat dahil mag-isa lang ako sa Cavite, mag-isang dinadala ang sarili ko. Hindi ko na ipinapaalam ang mga hirap na nararanasan ko sa buhay ko para lamang mapatakbo iyon ng maayos. Ayaw ko na iniisip pa niya ako. Pero ang huling problema na hinarap ko, di ko na naitago pa dahil kung sa tanim sa bukid ay kasabihang humapay ako, binagyo. At naroon ang mga pamilya ko, ang mga kapatid ko, ang mga magulang ko, ang inay ko...inunawa ako, at ibinibigay pa rin ang pagtitiwala na para sa unang anak na tulad ko. Hindi ko makakalimutan ang matalinhagang pangungusap ng Inay,"Sa tamang panahon magiging masaya ka din. Hayaan mo lang ang tadhana ang mamili ng tamang tao para syo. Wag mong ipilit ang mga bagay bagay, darating yon sa panahong di mo inaasahan. Huwag matigas ang ulo mo."

Minsan naisip ko na kahit kahawig ako ni Tatay,madami akong minana kay Inay. Ang pagiging malakas, masipag, mapagmahal, at kakayahang magsakripisyo ang ilan lamang sa mga iyon. Ipinagpapasalamat ko ang magandang paghubog niya sa akin na tumayo sa sariling paa ang naging kaagapay ko sa mga bagyong dumaan sa buhay ko, na kahit anong lugmok ay babangon ulit.

Alam kong hahanapin niya ang presensiya ko sa kanyang kaarawan dahil malayo ako. Naghihintay lang ako ng tamang araw para mapasaya ko naman muli ang aking ina...kahit mahuli pa ako. Maligayang kaarawan sa nag-iisang tao na iniidolo ko....ang aking Ina.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Get a Life

I do not know if all these works are meant to keep myself from thinking many problems. But just the same, it helps.

From 8am till 4:30PM, I am getting gaga with the works in my department(from post conferences to long meetings, etc). I must not feel the pain of whatever problems I have now, my subordinates need me, my kids need me, my siblings look up to me, people are expecting much from me. It's do or die. And I don't want the negative vibes to swallow me alive, so here I am ....surviving, taking each time to get up and start all over again.

I will give a rest to my ....no, I don't want to call it foolishness. I will call it sweet arrest. Charge everything to experience.

Josie is right. I must get a life. I must not abuse myself, I must enjoy because life is short. Who knows, maybe this time I may find the right one.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Four in a Row

Four consecutive months....four different struggles. I think those are too much already. I want to ask God "What are you trying to tell us...to my family?". We had enough already.

Last March, my nephew was hospitalized due to appendicitis. My sister and brother-in-law got tortured about the many bills that they had to pay. We almost lost Bibo, my smart nephew.

When April came, my father was hospitalized also in Batangas City due to prostate concerns. The family stayed there for almost a week.

Last May, the father of my brother-in-law suffered enlargement of the stomach due to cancer(not so sure about this). But the sad part is, he died after being hospitalized for almost 2 weeks.

Last June 1, my sister Zsazsa met a road mishap,jeepney against a ten wheeler truck in Batangas. I can't stand the sight of my sister when I visited her in the hospital. She suffered fractures in her arm and face. We had to transfer her to the UST Hospital for two operations. The operations lasted for 12 hours, from 7am to 7pm. My sister is on her way to recovery now but the memory of the accident will surely haunt her. Thanks to the caring doctors and nurses of UST. Thanks also to my other sister, Coly, and to my future brother-in-law, Vhido, for the untiring support and love to Shak. Thanks to all who prayed for Shak during the operation. Thanks Lola Lucia for your love to us. To my Ninang Remmie's family, may the good Lord bless you forever!

Maybe God is telling the family to be more prayerful and support each other in times of happiness and sorrow.

I hope there is no more...fifth. In the name of God!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Hey 2010

This is my first 2010 blog. Whew!

I am hoping 2010 will not be bad for me coz I am already encountering problems. I am trying my best to control everything but I am always considering emotions and not making my brain works all the time. What can I do? I don't want to be mean.

Change channel.

I enjoy seeing my new house, new pet puppies, new neighbors, new environment. I think these are the good side of my new year.

I am tired. Gotta go now.

Monday, January 12, 2009

What's new in 2009?

It's so nice to be back in the blogsphere!!!

I feel proud for the things that I have invested this past 6 months. I thank the Lord for all of these of course.

I now have a new house in Trece Martirez. I hope this will be the start of something new. I hope this house will bring so much happiness in my life.

I feel like I'm Angelina Jolie in my new motorbike.Hehehehe Feeling lang hahaha. It's so nice to play with speed but I have to be careful. I don't want to die young. I love it's color. It's as black as night with a little stripe design reminding me of Lastikman. Well, I can be Lastikwoman sometimes hehhehe.

I feel complete...I won't tell it here.secret. Basta I'm happy.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Kumusta?

How do I feel now? Well, let me see...

I should make the fire bigger on the torch. Mahirap umalalay. Sometimes I feel upset and worried about many things. I always feel like I'm in an operation. Everyday. I have to act as if nothing is happening but deep inside there is a bit fear of being...crucified?hehehe

Have nothing to say anymore.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Feeling ARMY at the PCS Congress

I did not have much escapades this summer vacation except for attending Chloe's christening and participating in the PCS IT Congress at Hotel Intercon . I did not go to far places to have a vacation. I just stayed home and relaxed. So nice to feel that my batteries are now recharged.

My beloved niece is now a member of the Christian community. The tension was there but I was able to manage it. Being a "Tita" during that time was kinda difficult. I was able to show to the De Leola's their apo with my youngest sis without any untoward incident. Whew!

Last May 14 and 15 I was at the Hotel Intercon in Makati. I attended an IT Congress of the Phil Computer Society. I was very lucky to have been there. I was in the safest table coz five PA officers are there. They're from the Signal Group. Col Coztes and his group were so nice and friendly. Even the military are now active in such organization. Good for them.

Gotta go. Uwian time.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Update lang

I think I rested for quite a long time in blogging hehehehe Wala lang, lost the momentum to write here for a while. Or maybe I became busy and time to blog became a problem.

What's new?

I solved many problems, achieved something, gambled again. That's it.

Hmmm I am running out of words here now. Naninibago?

I am just thinking of two things now...

I am hoping my decision is right in this second chance that I am now facing. I'll just charge this thing to experience and memories pag mali ako. But this is what I call spice of life. This will make me tough.

Joey called last night. Wala lang....Sometimes things should not be blogged here. There's happiness and loneliness . Haayyy

Have to go now

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Paradise

What a beautiful dream
The stars were shining bright in the sky
Two hours before midnight
The lovebirds met
Sang the song of their hearts delight
Flew up and touched the sky
They came back to the ground
Lay down awhile
Cinderella time, it's goodbye
Days will soon go by
Time again for paradise

--etras.r--

Monday, December 10, 2007

The long and winding road

Everytime I hear this song I can't help but sing with the Beatles. I've experienced being alone for so many times. It's painful. But everytime there is a chance for a communication, I can't help but step in. On and off. Happiness and pain. But at the end of everything, I will be left alone.....on the same road.....waiting and wanting to be with him again.

This one is for the only BOGUS in my life!!! To the one who flies and to the one who loves Maverick.

The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
Ive seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to you door

The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
Crying for the day
Why leave me standing here
Let me know the way

Many times Ive been alone
And many times Ive cried
Any way youll never know
The many ways Ive tried
But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago

Dont leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door
But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago
Dont leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Performance Level

Last Nov. 23, we had a concert in DLSZ. It was sooooo fun. I am very sure the viewers enjoyed a lot coz they saw their mentors groovin' on stage.hehehehe

Take a look at the pics.


The Iskul Bukol and the Wanna Be Dancers!

L to R(Czar, Sheryll, Shiela, Vicky and Kyra)



The Retro Fever



Gimme That Copa Baby!

The show must go on no matter if the zipper was down already. I can still remember how Sir Mon reacted when I told him, "Oh my God Sir, the zipper went down. Back is bare now." Bahala na si Batman, o si Superman, o si Lastikman. Let's samba. Hahahaha


Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Say cheese!!!!



Ms Gina and I made some poses. Reason? Well, this is the least thing I can do after coming to work late due to MMDA and LTO vehicle check/operation in Molino. Grrrrr!!!! My first time to be late this year.

Monday, November 19, 2007

The love of my life


I am blessed with two angels whom I considered the source of my strength. During my lonely moments or whenever I feel down, all I need to do is to look at them. I'll be strong again.


My eldest is Izel. She's 11 years old already. She's so kikay. When she's a baby she's so fat. But now, she's slim. Very conscious about her looks. She loves to dance and sketch. When people ask her from whom she got her looks, she will tell....kay Mommy. You have to agree or else she'll get mad at you. She likes Jolly cheezy fries and chicken joy.


My son's name is John. He's 10 years old. He is very playful, hyper to that effect. He loves computer games and basketball. He has a good singing voice. He loves to eat. He loves Jolly hotdog, pork sinigang, hamburger. He's hardheaded sometimes. Maybe coz he is still young. But whenever he embraces me, I can't help but give in.


Friday, November 16, 2007

SIMPLIFIED







Sometimes it's nice to see our faces on the monitor. Just take a look. You are not allowed to utter anything. Yeah...for your eyes only....
My friend May gave me 6 running poses during our dance practice break last Saturday. Location:CPA Theater, De La Salle Zobel

The text says it all.
SIMPLIFIED
8 out of 10 people like to keep things simplified.
I am one of them.




Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Sisters Forever

SUNNYLANE- We have no resemblance. I don't know why. Len is a patient woman, masipag, and I think she's into clean and healthy lifestyle. If I will be rich someday, I'll give her something for a living.Big grocery store. I will never forget what we shared in Makati. She helped me get my diploma in college.

KAYE-My intelligent twin sister.But I think I'm a bit prettier.hahahaha. Kaye knows my heart. She knows almost everything about me whether good or bad. She understands me. I simply love Kaye coz she does my obligations to our family in Batangas. How can I repay you sistah?! Kaye is mataray but that's purely her facade. She is very generous esp to our family. I do hope she'll have a happy family life in the future with Angel....unlike me huhuhu. I'll give you the gift that I have promised in your wedding. I swear!

ALLEN-I simply love Allen coz she is fun to be with. Grabe ang daldal. No dull moments. She stayed with me for 2 years in our house aside from Kaye. I will not also forget the sacrifices that she had done for me and my kids. Allen has the super speed ability to do all tasks on time. Strong ang bruha talaga. She loves our mother so much that's what I notice with her. You will see her cry when there is a problem in the family. Angal baka. One more thing, she's witty. Dapat manahin yan ni Jaren.hehehe

ZSAZSA-Actually, her name is Sunshine. Now everyone calls her Zsa, Shak, Mama ZsaZsa. ZsaZsa has a resemblance with Len. Pretty also. It must be her hair that says it all. Wavy...just like mine hehehe. Zsa is kind and she serves everyone in the family, from the oldest to the youngest. Wawa man. Hahaha Panget_baby forever ang drama niyan.

CLINETTE-The family fondly calls her Coly, Colinette...and I think she likes them. Coly is the youngest sister. She is adventurous. Motorbiking is her game. Kaskasera. She's the bunso and I think she does not like to be noticed all the time...especially now. She's a very young mom to Chloe. My sister and I have the same in common....we are impulsive but brave. She followed my steps. She married at a young age. I just hope she'll be tough till the end just like me. I will always extend help to Clinette no matter what. I will never forget her role in giving me the person that I still ___ till now.