I do not know how to start this blog. All I know is....I am in pain. It's so hard because I gave my all. I feel like...I am floating. I hope he knows how I feel right now. I am hoping for a little kindness, sit down and talk, and fix eveerything. But it did not happen.
Still, I do not want to be mad at him. I am blaming myself partly for everything. Still, my heart forgives...and wishes him....goodluck. I hope you will not forget me nhel.
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
VULNERABLE
In my entire life, two people told me that I am VULNERABLE. They are my friend Rosetti and a Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force.
But vulnerable has many meanings. It is susceptible to attack, open to temptation, dangerous, capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt.
That kind of comment caught my attention. What is it that they saw in me that made them said that?
That I am susceptible to attack...open to temptation. I wonder if they saw fragility in me, that I have no defense in my system? That I do not know how to defend myself in times of troubles? That I cannot detect trouble or cannot read lies from people around me? I don't have to prove if a person is lying. I can sense it....from the way the person talks, treats me as a person...from the way a person act in front of me...by the way the person looks at me in the eye...I will know if the person is true to me. No matter how I love that person....I will never allow lies and traitor to rule my life. No matter how painful it is...I will let him go. This means...I know how to be slaved by love...but I am not stupid!
Open to temptation? Did these two persons saw that I am truly looking for someone? That my wings are always spreading and welcoming anyone who would like to come? I think not.
That I am dangerous....? I think and I believe I am a kind person. Looks can be deceiving.
That I am capable of being emotionally hurt....why? Is it because I easily trust people? That I look at their positive character more than the negative ones?
Gees...I dunno. The term given me...vulnerable....I am not comfortable with it. It makes me feel ...I am innocent and so helpless in front of the roaring lions in the dungeon.
But vulnerable has many meanings. It is susceptible to attack, open to temptation, dangerous, capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt.
That kind of comment caught my attention. What is it that they saw in me that made them said that?
That I am susceptible to attack...open to temptation. I wonder if they saw fragility in me, that I have no defense in my system? That I do not know how to defend myself in times of troubles? That I cannot detect trouble or cannot read lies from people around me? I don't have to prove if a person is lying. I can sense it....from the way the person talks, treats me as a person...from the way a person act in front of me...by the way the person looks at me in the eye...I will know if the person is true to me. No matter how I love that person....I will never allow lies and traitor to rule my life. No matter how painful it is...I will let him go. This means...I know how to be slaved by love...but I am not stupid!
Open to temptation? Did these two persons saw that I am truly looking for someone? That my wings are always spreading and welcoming anyone who would like to come? I think not.
That I am dangerous....? I think and I believe I am a kind person. Looks can be deceiving.
That I am capable of being emotionally hurt....why? Is it because I easily trust people? That I look at their positive character more than the negative ones?
Gees...I dunno. The term given me...vulnerable....I am not comfortable with it. It makes me feel ...I am innocent and so helpless in front of the roaring lions in the dungeon.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Facts about Loving and Hurting
First of all...HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to the person reading my blog.
What you will read here are important facts in order to know whether you are being loved or not at all. I can say some of them are based from personal experiences. You better check if the ones I will write here are Yes or No in your present lovelife.
He loves you if...
1. he gives you courtesy(in short...hindi ka niya pinag-aalala. It does not mean lahat na lang itetext niya o itatawag syo..at least yung mga bagay na importanteng malaman mo para at peace ka)
2. he does not count the number of days or hours or minutes that he devotes with you(kase nga mahal ka niya...mararamdaman mo na kung pwede lang na makasama ka niya lagi...gagawin niya. hindi yung bibigyan ka niya ng schedule)
3. he is very much present during important occasions(ateh..andun siya hanggang matapos ang occasion..hindi yung nagmamadali umalis pag Christmas o New Year..o nawawala pag Valentine's day...hahaha mag-isip ka pag ganon..may pupuntahan pa yung iba)
4. he allows you to see his cellphone(ateh...pag dikit sa katawan niya ang cellphone niya at medyo patagu-tago pag may nagtetext hehehe think again. sure na may gf pa siya other than you o may kabolahan siyang iba)
5. he speaks about himself and you in some futuristic scenarios (watch out ka ateh. pag wala ka naririnig sa kanya na something like..one of these days...magkasama kayo sa future life nyo o di kaya may plano siya para sa inyo 5,10 or 20 years from now...heheheh again ..pag wala..alam mo na yun. di ka gaano mahalaga sa kanya)
6. he exerts efforts to be with you and know you more and make the relationship strong(pag wala man lang kayong oras talaga bilang lovers na kayo lang..walang pag-uusap ng malalim paminsan minsan..well alam mo na yon...mababaw lang ang pagtingin niya sa yo)
7.he wants your presence in his house or relative's house during occasions(hindi ka man lang ba isinasama sa kanila ateh? if tat is the case...syempre hindi ikaw ang legal na gf niyan...you have to wonder na)
Naka-relate ka ba dear reader? What do you think? Are all manifestations of being loved present in your relationship? If yes...good for you. If you are experiencing the examples I have said after each sign, you have to think and ask yourself if the relationship is still worth keeping. If you are a logical person, talk is okay, if it does not work..time to say goodbye must be next. But if you are the martyr and romantic type...maybe you will wait until he change his ways and be forever loving you. No one can tell. Goodluck.:)
What you will read here are important facts in order to know whether you are being loved or not at all. I can say some of them are based from personal experiences. You better check if the ones I will write here are Yes or No in your present lovelife.
He loves you if...
1. he gives you courtesy(in short...hindi ka niya pinag-aalala. It does not mean lahat na lang itetext niya o itatawag syo..at least yung mga bagay na importanteng malaman mo para at peace ka)
2. he does not count the number of days or hours or minutes that he devotes with you(kase nga mahal ka niya...mararamdaman mo na kung pwede lang na makasama ka niya lagi...gagawin niya. hindi yung bibigyan ka niya ng schedule)
3. he is very much present during important occasions(ateh..andun siya hanggang matapos ang occasion..hindi yung nagmamadali umalis pag Christmas o New Year..o nawawala pag Valentine's day...hahaha mag-isip ka pag ganon..may pupuntahan pa yung iba)
4. he allows you to see his cellphone(ateh...pag dikit sa katawan niya ang cellphone niya at medyo patagu-tago pag may nagtetext hehehe think again. sure na may gf pa siya other than you o may kabolahan siyang iba)
5. he speaks about himself and you in some futuristic scenarios (watch out ka ateh. pag wala ka naririnig sa kanya na something like..one of these days...magkasama kayo sa future life nyo o di kaya may plano siya para sa inyo 5,10 or 20 years from now...heheheh again ..pag wala..alam mo na yun. di ka gaano mahalaga sa kanya)
6. he exerts efforts to be with you and know you more and make the relationship strong(pag wala man lang kayong oras talaga bilang lovers na kayo lang..walang pag-uusap ng malalim paminsan minsan..well alam mo na yon...mababaw lang ang pagtingin niya sa yo)
7.he wants your presence in his house or relative's house during occasions(hindi ka man lang ba isinasama sa kanila ateh? if tat is the case...syempre hindi ikaw ang legal na gf niyan...you have to wonder na)
Naka-relate ka ba dear reader? What do you think? Are all manifestations of being loved present in your relationship? If yes...good for you. If you are experiencing the examples I have said after each sign, you have to think and ask yourself if the relationship is still worth keeping. If you are a logical person, talk is okay, if it does not work..time to say goodbye must be next. But if you are the martyr and romantic type...maybe you will wait until he change his ways and be forever loving you. No one can tell. Goodluck.:)
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