Feelings...Thoughts..At This Point In Time

I did this post to get away from the mind-buggling web scripts that I'm doing. Haahhh Medyo masakit ang ulo ko...painful ang back and shoulders ko. I will post here what I am thinking and feeling right now....fast.

1. Sana matapos ko na yung sideline kay Doc. Gagraduate si Ize. Gusto ko maging maayos yon. Paspasan na trabaho. Graveyard work.
2. Manunuod ako ng City Hunter bukas. Cute ni Lee Min Ho.
3. Payapa na naman ang gabi sa street namin. Ako at ang pusa sa kalye na lang yta ang gising. Ano ba yan.
4. Hirap talaga magwork sa abroad. Hinde kontrolado ang mga bagay bagay. Sana makauwi si Jhun. Kawawa naman.Biglang naging tahimik. Hinde ko na masyado kinulit online. Need to be sensitive naman kung kailangan niyang manahimik at mag isip.
5. Papasok na naman bukas. Ano kaya ang agenda sa meeting namin?
6. Siguro kung may husband ako malamang hinde ako ganito. Siguro at this time tulog na ako. Nakakamiss magsleep ng may kayakap. Kulitin ko kaya ang Diyos...sige na naman o, nakilala ko na ba o matagal mo pa ipapakilala sa akin yung taong para sa akin. Konting clue naman diyan po.
7. Magba-bike ako bukas. Raragasa na naman sa Daang Hari.
8. Sarap magpa-massage ng likod.
9. Pagod ako today.
10. I miss kissing, hugging, and loving. Laging sad ang gabi. Walang makausap.
11. Naisahan ako. Pagpapasensiyahan kita. Next time, hindi na. Tsk! Bad trip.

EMO Song

Hindi Kita Iiwan

Umiiyak ka na naman mahal
Lagi na lang ika’y nasasaktan
Sabi niyaDi
ka iiwanan
Ikaw ay nabigo
Kayo’y nagkalayo

Ako’y nahihirapan
Pag ika’y nasasaktan
Kung pwede lang naman
Sa akin
ka nalang

Hindi kita iiwan
Hindi pababayan
Sa akin ay hindi ka iiyak na kahit
minsan
Hindi kita iiwan
Hindi pababayaan
Hinding hindi ka
sasaktan
O’ akin ka nalang

Hindi kita iiwan
Lahat ay gagawain
Pag ika’y napasakin
Lahat ng utos mo ay aking
susundin
Hindi ko hahayaang
Ika’y masaktan
Mahal sanaNaman
sa akin ka nalang

Hindi kita iiwan
Hindi pababayan
Sa akin ay hindi ka iiyak ng kahit
minsan
Hindi kita iiwan
Hindi pababayaan
Hinding hindi ka
sasaktan
O’ akin ka nalang

Hindi kita iiwan
Akin ka na lang
Hindi kita iiwan
Hindi pababayan
Hinding hinda ka sasaktan
O’ aking
ka na lang

Hindi kita iiwan
Hindi pababayaan
Sa akin ay hinid ka iiyak nag kahit minsan
Hindi kita
iiwan
Hindi pababayaan
Hinding hinda ka sasaktan
O’ akin ka na lang
Hindi kita iiwan
Hindi kita iiwan

Artist: Sam Milby

The song is so cute. Sino kayang loko ang magsasabi niyan sa akin.Hahaha
Rock 'n share!

Daing ng Isip, Pintig ng Puso

Isang linggo na lang ang hinihintay ko. Masakit aminin na andiyan lang siya dahil mahalaga ako sa kanya....dahil kailangan niya ako. Iba ang mahalaga sa minamahal. Hihintayin ko ang oras...ang dahan dahan niyang pag-alis. Nagpagamit ako..hindi dahil mangmang ako o tanga..kundi dahil para sa ikabubuti niya yon. Kung may pagmamahalman, hindi ko naramdaman. Ayokong tapusin ang isang bagay na nasimulan ko na. Naipangako ko na sasamahan ko siya hanggang sa huli. Matibay na ang dibdib ko sa sakit. Ilang ulit na bang sinaksak ako habang nakatalikod...madami na. Buhay pa din naman..lumalaban.

Payapa lang ang pakiramdam ko ngayon. Hindi na kailangang maging emosyunal..hindi dapat. Ngayong tag-araw mamahalin ko ang sarili ko. Uuwi ako sa pinagmulan ko..makikisalamuha..magpapalakas.

Payapa nga...ngunit hindi lubos ang saya. Kailan ako titigil sa pagiging alitaptap? Kay hirap lumipad sa dilim na naghahanap dala ang konting liwanag. Kay hirap hanapin ng tunay na pagmamahal. Gayunpaman..mananatili akong umaasa na matagpuan na "siya" o matagpuan na niya ako habang nasa panahon ako ng pananahimik at pagpapalakas. Naniniwala ako sa hiwagang dulot ng buhay. Tuloy pa rin ang pag-asa.

Sa isang banda ng isipan ko...kumusta kaya ang isang taong nasa paliparan? Hanggang ngayon nararamdaman ko ang pagiging malakas niya ngunit makasarili. Nakakalungkot ang pagkakataong ibinigay ko sa kanya.

Sa isang banda naman ng aking kamalayan...naiisip ko ang isang mahiwagang lalaki sa kabilang dulo ng mundo. Nararamdaman ko ang kanyang pagbabago...maaaring may suliranin siya. Kaydali niyang napukaw ang puso ko. Gusto niyang tahakin ang landas ng pagbabago. Sana'y maging matagumpay siya. Kayhirap mamuhay sa lupain ng dayuhan. Minsan sa aking pagpikit ginagalugad ko gamit ang lakas ng isipan ang katayuan niya sa dulo ng mundo...sinusubukang madama ang pintig ng puso niya.

Madaling araw na...kailangan nang ipahinga ang pagod na katawan at isipan. Maghahanda na muli sa bagong pakikipagsapalaran.

Shiebangs!

I love to experiment during the month of February. Just want to show here the result of my shiebanging decision in different angles. Hehehehe

Ear-ratum(Teach me how to....respect)-Impeachment 2012

Because of so many things to do, I usually stay up late at night and would always watch the news before the clock ticks midnight. I was able to watch the bombastic and sarcastic attack of Sen. Miriam to the prosecutors. The lady senator almost swallowed them alive for withdrawing 5 articles from their 8 articles of impeachment against CJ Corona. G-a-g-o and wahhhh pitched high in the Senate tribunal.

Very clear in the picture was that of Atty Vitaliano Aguirre's ear-ratum(hehehe forgive me for weaving such a term). He covered his ears with his hands during the unwanted lecture(for him maybe) of Sen Miriam. Naturally, this became the moment of all moments in yesterdays' trial. This is truly mockable. The poor prosecutor was not able to stand the angelic voice of the lady senator. Many raised their eyebrows with the reactions of both parties while others sided with Atty Aguirre.

Actually, the bottomline of this is only Respect.

Respect was not seen in yesterdays' impeachment trial which involved big names in the political and judicial arena. How much more in the lives of ordinary people in everyday's ordinary situations?

Consider these simple situations:
1. You have waited for your room mate for a couple of minutes because he woke up first and used the bathroom.
2. You were in a hurry but upon seeing the red traffic light, you stopped on the road.
3. You terribly believed that your boss was wrong in his plan. You have waited for the right time to react politely but firmly.
4. Your wife said ill words and those affected you. You did not break her neck because she's your wife.
5. Your subordinates were not able to meet your requirements on time. You wanted to yell at them but you controlled yourself not to. You rather arranged a meeting to discuss the problems.
6. You don't like to offend your friend online. You don't want to hurt her. You rather appeared busy or invisible sometimes.

Did you experience some of them? If yes, I think you know what it takes to be respectful. You are in control and will not be in an era-ratum situation just like what Atty Aguirre did... or would you want to take a stand and put yourself on spotlight? It's decision..and you will always be as good as your last decision.

Mefenamic Pls

I do not know how to start this blog. All I know is....I am in pain. It's so hard because I gave my all. I feel like...I am floating. I hope he knows how I feel right now. I am hoping for a little kindness, sit down and talk, and fix eveerything. But it did not happen.

Still, I do not want to be mad at him. I am blaming myself partly for everything. Still, my heart forgives...and wishes him....goodluck. I hope you will not forget me nhel.

VULNERABLE

In my entire life, two people told me that I am VULNERABLE. They are my friend Rosetti and a Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force.

But vulnerable has many meanings. It is susceptible to attack, open to temptation, dangerous, capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt.

That kind of comment caught my attention. What is it that they saw in me that made them said that?

That I am susceptible to attack...open to temptation. I wonder if they saw fragility in me, that I have no defense in my system? That I do not know how to defend myself in times of troubles? That I cannot detect trouble or cannot read lies from people around me? I don't have to prove if a person is lying. I can sense it....from the way the person talks, treats me as a person...from the way a person act in front of me...by the way the person looks at me in the eye...I will know if the person is true to me. No matter how I love that person....I will never allow lies and traitor to rule my life. No matter how painful it is...I will let him go. This means...I know how to be slaved by love...but I am not stupid!

Open to temptation? Did these two persons saw that I am truly looking for someone? That my wings are always spreading and welcoming anyone who would like to come? I think not.

That I am dangerous....? I think and I believe I am a kind person. Looks can be deceiving.

That I am capable of being emotionally hurt....why? Is it because I easily trust people? That I look at their positive character more than the negative ones?

Gees...I dunno. The term given me...vulnerable....I am not comfortable with it. It makes me feel ...I am innocent and so helpless in front of the roaring lions in the dungeon.